auntie nae

2011-11-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

Late at night, usually the evening before a very early work shift, my home is plagued by weird and creepy noises coming from outside. The year before last, (pardon my French…) they scared the shit out of me. I’ve grown accustomed to them now, and after some investigating, deducing and actually once spotting the source of noise last year, I still jump at the sounds and have to wait several agonizing minutes before hearing it again and realizing that it is just my downstairs neighbor: Mr. Opossum.
I saw him once last spring, when going to put some garbage out. My trash cans are kept right beside my back door steps, making it incredibly easy to “take out the garbage” – it involves opening the back door and flinging the bag into the can, as the wind has already claimed EVERY trash can lid that I’ve own. Or maybe Mr. Opossum has them in his home, knowing full well that even with the convenience of the stairs; he wouldn’t be able to get into my garbage with a locking lid. Or would he? I really wouldn’t put it past him. Anyway, last spring, I found him trapped in the bottom of the huge green trash bin. After jumping back 10 feet in mid-air, my heart exploding out of my chest and all of those other fun cartoony things, I ended up grabbing my broom, tipping the can over, and he walked out. It was a little heart wrenching, it was obvious in the way that he moved that he had been stuck inside the can for quite some time.

Over the months I discovered a little Opossum sized hole near the trashcans and for a while all I could think was “AMG I have this huge R.O.U.S. living underneath my home, digging through my trash and terrorizing me at 4 o’ clock every morning! How can I get rid of him?!”

^_^
But Opossums are not rodents. They are not hostile or aggressive and most of them are really cute!
I have looked into ways to get rid of it, but my heart won’t let me contact even the most “humane” of services. Not only has Hollywood distorted my initial opinion of the marsupial, it has safe guarded this guy from being released in a strange, new area where he may or may not find food and shelter from this coming winter.

If Bambi can chill out with them, so can I.

I occasionally fight with the two separate views on Opossums;

1. They are ugly, hairy creatures with fleas, pointy teeth, nasty claws and can spread diseases and germs. They live off of your garbage and are a nuisance because they don’t know how to pick up after themselves and re-tie the garbage bags.
2. They are adorable, yet wild and dirty creatures. Yet, they are still a being and going out of the way to provide it with fewer hardships in its life would not be a terrible act. And while he does dig through my trash, and probably helped harvest my garden, he also enjoys munching on real pests, like cockroaches, rats and other really gross things. Removing him would also probably mean more skunks hanging around, and we have enough in this area.

I think until he starts stealing food from my fridge or pumpin' the jams at 4 am (he lives right underneath my master bathroom, adjacent to my bedroom) I will live in harmony with Mr. O. Possum.

2011-10-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

Having a sneaky nature isn’t necessarily a bad thing...just as long as the person is good at heart. I can’t hide the fact that I am sneaky, growing up in the shadow of my sister and mother’s stronger figure and bolder personality, (not literally; that sounds like I spent my childhood camping out by their ginormous stone statues…) I was given many chances to hone my skills as a raccoon..er..tiptoeing around. Now that I am older, and possibly matured, I use those learned skills for the good of my friends and family.

I have a lot of fun surprising people with monetary, practical, completely silly, or edible gifts. I enjoy spending time and putting love into something, and taking someone totally by surprise when I give it to them. You may mention a need for an item and it gets stored in my brain’s filing system as “things to watch out for while shopping or cleaning out closet for Goodwill”.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not boasting about all of the wonderfulness that I possess and how lucky you should be to consider yourself my friend, but more so about the wonderfulness that is giving. See a need, fill a need. Whether you subscribe to good karma, the Golden Rule, or paying it forward the act of giving almost never leaves both parties unhappy. And it’s simple mathematics; You’re hungry and I love to cook. Or you need groceries and gas, I can either hand over $20 for my own personal happiness for the week, or give it to you and we both get a little happiness for ourselves.

I really do get a lot of enjoyment out of giving. Unfortunately, in my nephew’s case, I need to back it down a notch. When I come to visit and I happen to be carrying a bag (which is almost always) he suspects that there is a gift waiting for him inside. I’m still on the fence as to whether or not this is a good thing. Since I only see him, maybe twice a month, it is a good thing. But on the other hand, it’s almost to the point where if I show up without something, what I would get is “Auntie Naaeee, where’s my present?” Bah…that’s what family members (non-parents) are for! Spoiling!

On the topics of giving, food, and general sneakiness…I have a friend. Yes, I do. 90% of my friends’ meals come from every fast food joint in the area, and the other 10% would be PB&J at home…but that’s only when there are 2 slices of bread in her cupboards. Now, I never eat breakfast, even though our mothers and women’s health magazines tell us that is the most important meal of the day. I don’t eat it because of two reasons: I’m rarely ever hungry in the morning and two, if I put something in my tummy other than coffee before the sun has been up for a few hours, I get sick to my stomach. Maybe it’s the coffee…

Back to the story, I decided to make a breakfast meal for my friend. Or it could have been the other way around; I received in my daily email from allrecipes.com, a recipe for Ham breakfast braid.

This is a breakfast deserving of a real plate! Paper plates be damned!

Wanting to try it out, I chose my friend as a guinea pig. Whichever one works best for the story, I prefer to call it divine confection. This recipe, like most are after the fact, is super easy and the ingredients are incredibly basic. Allrecipes.com did not provide a step by step photo montage though, and if you learn visually, like myself, you can check out this chickadees blog instead.

Bakingwithbeth also follows a smaller serving size than Allrecipe, but I didn’t realize that until after the oven had preheated and I was beating the eggs…but what is good cooking without mistakes? And yummy mistakes and “ooo lemmie try it this way” ideas?
Meat! Any will do and I suggest using the most flavorful of the choices. Spam, Baconbits, and 88c hot dogs are some options to avoid.

I had the needed ingredients; Eggs, cream cheese, milk (I used canned milk and it was just fine), shredded cheese, and 2 tubes of crescent roll dough. (I just realized that frosting is really the only food that sounds decent coming from of a “tube”.)

An example of how to take unappetizing photos. This was the beginning formation of the dough, later I added additional dough to cover the complete top surface.

You really only need enough dough to make a base for the eggs to sit in and some more to cover them up a bit. I noticed that, while a lot of photos show an equal baked dough/egg ratio on the top, there were a lot of photos that made the whole thing like a human torso with its skin flayed and its innards showing.

Place 2 eyes and a menacing mouth on this and viola! you have the cutest Halloween breakfast mummy!

Nomnom. I chose the modest path and went complete coverage, using all but 4 crescent triangles of dough; I made the base, piled on the goodness and then covered it with “braids” of dough. I forgot to brush the top with butter, but if you forget too, it does not make it less yummy!

This is what a baked braid looks like. Don't do drugs kids.

Another mistake that I made was beating the eggs with the milk and cream cheese, all at once and without an actual blender or beater of any kind. I used a spoon. I am only admitting this because it just shows how hard it is to screw up this recipe. My concoction left the eggs and milk whipped, of course, but with the occasional bit of cream cheese. I would like to try it again with an adequate beater, but I am not dismissing the enjoyment of taking a bite and hitting a pocket of SURPRISE - CREAM CHEESE!

The cream cheese melted during both the frying and baking process, so if you make the same mistake I did, no worries.

Additional touches to the mid-morning nap inducing breakfast included these bad boys (sliced) and a sprinkling of tarragon.

2011-10-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

Do not ask me what I am up to at 6 o’clock in the morning. If you did, I would have to tell you that I woke up at 5am, with my mind set on doing some not-so-much reading accomplished for my history class and thinking “I went to bed at 10-ish, that’s more than enough sleep!”. I can’t recall what spurred the google search, but I started reminiscing over fashion fads of the 90’s, like flannel shirts, grandpa sweaters, and chokers. There were very few fads that I was interested in as a child of the late 80’s-early 90’s;

Neon Lycra bike shorts. Every other girl wore these shorts, usually with an equally neon skirt, and I wanted them. The “sausage casing” metaphor was something I learned years and years later, but looking back, I’m somewhat pleased with my parents’ decision to refuse both my sister and myself the opportunity to wear these shorts. I’m not sure of their reasoning, whether it was based on wasting money on a fad item, if they were aware of our chubbiness and just trying to save us from the agony of ridicule and chafed legs. Or maybe it was due to modesty and not having to deal with photos of their two loverly daughters at the 1989 family reunion sporting the dreaded camel toe. I do remember devising a plan, with my sister, to get our hands on these shorts though. Our preacher’s two daughters had a huge collection of these shorts, and no, we were not going to raid their closet during a sleepover…putting 2 and 2 together, I deduced that if our own father were a preacher, then of course, we would be allowed to wear the shorts. Childhood logic is so beautiful in its simplicity.

With the recent “come back” (my inner child is reluctant to accept the fact that I have to now use phrases like that, along with “kids these days” and “back in my day”) of fads from my childhood, I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of the cute little plastic charms. Unfortunately, the plague of the late 90’s removed the part of the brain that reminded parents to both keep an eye on their children and accepted responsibility for allowing such hazards in their household. If only we could blame biology instead of psychology! On that note, toughen up and bring these charms back! Even if it’s just in Canada, I would gladly cross the border for a bracelet or two.

It might be strange, but I can remember the very first time that I wore a flannel shirt. I suppose it is so memorable, because it was one of the first “fashionable” steps (using that term VERY loosely here) that I took as a teenager. It was my father’s blue flannel shirt, one that he had owned for probably 10 years. I remember the elbows being thread bare, but wasn’t that also fad? I also remember walking down the sidewalk on the top of the hill in Madison, Indiana, past JC Penny, and Video Towne, and I felt cool. We kids were treated to a clothes shopping spree at the local K-mart, usually around the changing of the seasons, and with $100 budget, I felt like I millionaire at the time. The sea of flannel, earth tones and faux fur were enough to drive a teenage girl clothes crazy! Unfortunately for the photo memories, I was taken over by my inner tom-boy by my early teens and wore nothing but basketball shorts and t-shirts that were covered in either Looney Tunes characters or, if I could get my hands on them, my favorite bands. “Dressing up” became wearing jeans with mysteriously weak fibers in the knees…Oh crap, look at those holes, I should patch that up with some flannel!...and a clean white t-shirt.
I am really hating using the word “fashionable” when I mention perms, but it has to be done. It was a fashion statement at some point in history, and my sister and I worked it. But boy, did we work it wrong. I thank God that I cannot get my hands on a photo of either one of us at this moment, the embarrassment at trying to describe our teased bangs and how, at the end of my perm’s life, I would walk around with wet hair in order to keep the curl.

Equally offensive – the slouch sock. My sister swears up and down that she invented the slouch sock. I’m sure if you asked her today she would still stand by her claim. And heck yeah, we all layered them, and I can finally place blame on something for the poor circulation in my feet.

Until this morning, I had no idea just how many freakin’ Barbie and Barbie accessories that my sister and I owned during our childhood. Magic Dance, Fashion Jeans, Jewel Secrets, Tropical, Perfume Pretty, and Loving You Barbie, Bath Set for Two, and the complete Heart Family set, to name just a few. Google image search has allowed me to spend this morning repeating “Oh my gosh! Yes!” at every photo of every Barbie I played with as a youngin’. It also reminded me of the belief that the Barbie dolls led girls to see her as the perfect female figure, and develop eating disorders. Let me slide myself into my skinny jeans for a second... there were no comparisons of her body to mine, or any other female in my life. As a kid, the only recognition her body received was “How the crap am I going to get this homemade dress over her head?” or at the worst, “hehehehehe those are boobies!” If a dolls figure was supposed to have such a major impact on my ideals of what a woman was supposed to look like, what about the bean bag dolls, female Fisher Price people or even better, Ken? Imagine my surprise when I saw my first male crotch and found out that men actually have something between their legs other than a smooth surface.

just one more coffee for the road..

2011-03-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with having a coffee machine in every room of the house. It's one of those things that were brought to us by invention that we can absolutely live without but only our weird, hippy friends or parents actually do live without...much like a television or computer. Notice that I didn't include the laptop in that very short list, as the laptop is a must have, much needed invention that every household should have, a lot like the refrigerator. I must not be a real "household" though, because I do not have one.

This will be my daily theme song for the next 2 weeks...

Today, I am going to see how long I can get by without having to fall back on my pain medicine. I've quite a few left, but my surgery date is getting closer and closer, and I really just don't want it in my system come that time. I remember reading, on one of the many message boards that, it can take up to a week for the WD's to end. That's a scary thought, but also for people who take 4 times as much as I do. And aside from that, I've just noticed that I become -extremely- irritable around a particular time of taking it, and also experience the "in a dream" feeling. Where things are cloudy, you're not all quite there, and for me personally, my body just prefers to go slower, there is no turbo or even normal speed. You know the dream where you have to run faster or else the X will eat you up, but you just can't make your legs move any faster? That's what I feel like on this. So it was a toss up between perfect pain management and feeling constantly drugged up and not in the good way, or living normally, but with occasional spasms. Tuesday, I am going with the spasms..and 3 ibuprofen. I'll let you know how Wednesday goes.

Books like these make me want to scoop them up, buy them, and quit my job, so I can spend hours with a needle in my hand, recreating each and every pattern.
I am in no way a great or even good seamstress, but if I enjoy creating, one way with a needle and thread. And I wish I could survive on just that.

i wanna dance, i wanna drink a whiskey

2011-03-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

The past seems to have gone by too quickly and the future won't come fast enough.
I'm just almost a week past my two month anniversary of being an "ostomate" and almost two weeks away from not being one any longer. To say that I can't wait is an incredible understatement, I'm sure the girls at work are sick and tired of hearing the words (not in any particular order) "Oh my gosh, I just can't wait! X days until my surgery! X days until I'm back to normal!" There is nothing more to say on the matter, I'm having my take down surgery on the 29th, which as of writing is down to the 14 day marker. The doctor has already sent my "invitation" letter....

....and my LOA papers, which I get to turn in at work, with a huge smile on my face. I've considered starting a blog dedicated to my condition, I know a lot of people have them, they're great for information (I know when I was first in the hospital, it -really- gave me hope and I enjoyed knowing that so many "normal" people, just like me, are living with fine with this condition.). However, I'm not sure if there is going to be enough "activity" to warrant a dedicated blog. So for now, I'll just keep it to simple and random updates in even moreso random posts.

2011-01-08T05:03:00.000-08:00

3 months ago, i received a letter from a great aunt of mine - one of my dad's mom's sisters. i don't ever remember meeting her, and if i did, i was very young. but she found it in her heart to write me a letter, telling me how sorry she was that i was in the hospital and that she was thinking of me. i decided to write her back, sending her a christmas card and thanking her from the bottom of my heart for the letter. she died 2 weeks ago. i will keep her letter forever, and never neglect to reply to kindness.

All about Wow and the things I put off doing.

2010-11-15T06:25:00.000-08:00

My name is Candace, and I am an alt-oholic.
Before my run in with the terrible colon monster, I was leveling a Undead Rogue, Duckface with a friend from work. To make a long story short, I lost interest in the game in general for a couple months and decided to reroll a Priest when I finally got back into playing. Cue Kaywinnit. I thought I was clever with that name, but apparently there is more than one Kaywinnit across the game, more than 20 actually! (It's from the epic television show "Firefly", in case you're wondering.) Should I mention that I came back from my 3 month vacation into patch 4.0.1?
The great thing about leveling a healing class now-a-days is the ability to level through random dungeons versus questing. I've tried playing a Priest more than once, have never gotten past level 30-ish, but with being able to just heal and not have to specialize into dps'ing to quest, I've found it much more enjoyable. I love healing. I love being able to hang out in Orgrimmar waiting for the random queue to pop.
However, I do not love the over abundance of players at these low levels that have little to no experience with their class. Granted it's a given, you're level 20, you're not expected to know everything about your class yet. But you are expected to not send your pet half way across the dungeon and aggro 3/4ths of the whole place. Or Soulstone yourself.

And this guy just knew too much for his own good.

Tanks:
Paladins - I've found are either slow & stupid or Fast & mana consuming. I have yet, even at level 43, master the art of mana conservation. It works on both ends of the table: nothing irritates me more than a tank who pulls too slow, and nothing irritates me more than a tank who pulls too fast. It's the rare, once in a week random that moves as fluid as rain water from a gutter. I know they nerfed practically every class, but watching a Prot Paladin pull 5 non-elite mobs and drop to 50% hp in 2 seconds had me saying "WTF?".
Gear was ok, usually in Randoms you have full Heirloom or Blues. It's just too easy not to have the best gear now-adays. Which makes these gear choices hard to explain..'specially for a level 43 Mage.

So when the tank takes more damage than he/she should, due to bad gear, bad talent points, bad playing in general, I obviously have to use more mana to keep him/her alive, and that means that I have more downtime in between pulls. And it's the tanks that pause for more than 15 seconds in between each pull that irritate the ever-loving Moonberry Juice out of me.

Druids...suck. My feelings towards Bear tanks is the same as Paladin tanks. I haven't had one memorable Druid tank, from level 12-50, unless it was a bad memory. Nuff said.

Warriors - I am loving them. Although I tend to not use my PwS as much on them, I'm so afraid of one of them yelling "I NEED MAH RAGE!", they, believe it or not, have less downtime than Druids but pull less than Paladins. That can be a good thing.

A lot has changed with the game in the past month. Most of it was long over due, but the rest of it just seems to make the game too easy. More of that later, much later, as this is the second to the last day off work before my return to the hospital. Here's praying for a fast recovery, atleast fast enough to get me out of the hospital and home in my bed..near my computer ;)
<3

2010-11-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I return to work. I was in no way expecting to be going back so quickly, I thought at least one day would pass between today and the next shift, but I was so wrong. And I think I'm ok with that. There are a few things I need to do before tomorrow morning.

One of which is fixing a lunch. My shifts are 9 hours, 1 hr for lunch and with the medication I'm on, with the constant need to munch, I am thinking it a smart idea to pack some snacks too.

I found out that eating gluten free - Rice Chex with lactose free milk does not hurt my belly one small bit. It's not something I can live off of, but it's good to know theres something out there that can ride through my digestive system without creating too huge of a havoc.

I'm thinking something chickeny and warm for lunch tomorrow, though. Then trying on tights with skirt/shoe combinations, finishing the laundry and most likely the rest of the evening spent knitting neck warmers.

2010-11-01T16:04:00.000-07:00

Like all best laid plans, todays plan of cleaning out my cobweb room went up in flames. It's a job that I've been wanting to finish for the past month, but have been able to convince myself throughout the day that I don't have the energy for such a large project yet. And believe me, it is a large project. The room has become a catch all, mostly for furniture, craft supplies and books. I know where everything should be and where it should go, I just can't bring myself to start, because I know once I move one thing, I have to move another to make room for that thing. So, once I start, I can't stop. And really, getting my sewing machine working sounded like a much better idea at the time. I have about a dozen more birds to make for my tree, and if I could get my old White's machine back to working, it would make the job that much easier. Unfortunately, I lack the skill to bring the machine back to working order.
I've tried everything, from oiling, de-linting, adjusting tensions all over the place, using high quality strong thread, rethreading, using different bobbins, adjusting bobbin tension, using new needles, etc.

Thank goodness I have such a generous mom who is willing to lend me her machine..again. She will lend it to me for 6 months, I'll *reluctantly* give it back to her for a week, then ask for it again. It's a vicious cycle. I love adding things to my ever growing wish list.
So, the day went to me unpacking all of my Christmas stuffs & decorations, and putting up my tree. The very first grown up tree I've ever owned. 6.5 feet of pre-lit artificial holiday happiness!
I refuse to post or even take a photo of the tree until it is finished.

Yesterday, had a thrifting date with Samaree. We broke a record and managed to go to two shops in one day! Usually, we can spend 1-2 hrs in one store, scouring every nook and cranny, flipping through every hardback, magazine, coin purse and Cosby sweater.
My favorite shops to hit are St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Store & the Granger Goodwill.

And I consider myself lucky to have a friend like Samaree to thrift along side. That's not a fluff compliment either, she understands the fundamentals to thrifting and does not complain when I'm concentrating on looking through old frames instead of holding a conversation with her, because she's too busy concentrating on looking for treasures as well. Speaking of treasures..

$1 ice tub, matches my tea pitcher!

I can imagine this sitting on a large formica desk, someone in a wool power suit sipping from it while screaming for more Caramel deLites.

The skirt. The beige, khaki, tan whatever, its the right color! skirt. In the right size. In the right length. With some pleats. And it's more than a just a simple skirt or something over flashy. I love it. I'm happy I found it. Enough gushing, it's a work skirt.

Definitely had to get for all of my "no-reason parties" in the future.

Breaking out the Holiday Cheer.

2010-10-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

Ok, I will admit sitting in front of the computer singing along to random carols and Christmas songs really isn't filling the world outside of my own with "Holiday Cheer", which is why I decided to spam my facebook page with links to the most wonderful Christmas songs.

On the intestinal front, things are far from wintery. I'm living my days feeling as if there were a giant red hot sitting on my belly. This is something I'm beginning to learn to deal with, as I'm running out of pain relief and have very little faith in my doctor of prescribing me anything stronger than OTC Tylenol. My biggest problem though with this is pants! I'm "ok" with the pain, if I can wear a dress or pj pants, something with a soft elastic waist or none at all. But neither of those will fly at work. So here's hoping something works, because I really would like to return to work.
I'm currently at 30mg of Prednisone, down from the original 60. *celebrate* It seems though, at about 40-50 my "Moon face" started getting worse, and I noticed changes in my neck and my chin..fatty changes. I've read that all of the symptoms go away within a week of ending Prednisone.
Now if I can just get my meals in check and my sewing machine fixed, I'll be a happier moon face this weekend.

2010-10-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

There is just something beautiful about peanut butter cookie dough.

Peanut butter cookies themselves are such simple, yet delicious treats that it's hard not to give them some sort of respect. Unfortunately, after baking half a dozen and then eating half, I found out that I can't eat chunky peanut butter. I have never made PBC's without chunky peanut butter, and I'm not sure if I want to try.
I'm curious about working with ginger, it's a stomach calmer and I may eventually find a nomulicious gingersnap recipe just in time before Winter!

I'm sure Pizza Hut has wondered if I died, as I have not eaten out all month. Which is kind of a lie, I've had a couple meals brought in to me by the kindness of friends, and today I actually went out and ate at a restaurant, first time in over a month too! But other than that, I've been cooking up a storm at home.
The last biggest thing I tackled was a tweaked potato soup with turkey sausage recipe I found online. First was calf brains...hah..no, turkey sausage.

Onions with Worcestershire sauce - I would buy a candle if they could capture this scent.

All this while the peeled and diced potatoes were boiling. Notice, there is no accurate measurements, I just added as I thought needed. Rosemary & a lot of ground black pepper went into the pot of potatoes as well.

Once the potatoes were soft enough, I noticed I had too much water in the pot, so I drained it and added the onions and sausage.

Now the recipe I was following loosely online said to add mashed potatoes, and since I'm lazy and had the pre-made junk, that's what I added. *sssh* In the future, if I ever make it again, I promise to save a few potatoes for mashing. That an half a cup of milk, stir, keep on the heat until you want to eat.
It received raves from both Samaree & my sister. I too enjoyed it, but was only able to eat a bowl due to the spicy nature. So sad. Also to note for future making of this dish, I would add a full cup of milk and/or not drain as much water out. Yesterday, as I was packing up the remaining leftovers for my parents, I noticed the consistency was more mashed potato-y than potato stew-y.
And seasoned turkey sausage potato stew is much more exciting than seasoned mashed potatoes with bits of turkey sausage, I think.

Before going to get my bloodwork done yesterday I was on the hunt for a new craft project, something very simple that I could do at Michiana Hematology Oncology center. I like the idea of going there when my mom has to go there for her chemotherapy, that way I can keep company for a couple hours, and it's not really taking anything from, since I don't have much of a life at the moment.

I ran across these adorable bird ornaments, which were perfect because I actually have a 6 foot tall tree for this year. My first "grown up tree". However, I have very very very few ornaments. And I'm not really the type of person that is happy with throwing every ornament regardless of what it is up onto the tree. I like..themes.
Which is apparent in the 2ft tall Star Wars themed tree I have waiting in my closet.

I'm in a daze these days.

2010-10-09T18:55:00.000-07:00

No seriously, if you see me out in public, try having a conversation with me. I feel like I'm in a constant drug induced stupor and talking only makes it worse.
Today I went out to grab a few groceries, and managed to do the whole shopping trip without a wheelchair. There were times when I felt stubborn and lightheaded and second guessed myself, and I pray to God I won't wake up tomorrow regretting doing so much today. It's a learning game, learning how much I can get away with that won't set me back. My biggest concern these days is just getting back in the groove. Apparently the whole ordeal took a lot out of me, my arms are currently aching from folding blankets today. I am the epitome of "out of shape", after 2-3 weeks of doing nothing but flipping the remote, I'm sure you can't expect any more.

But enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute. You should be listening to these girls.

They remind me of Patsy Cline mixed with the Softies.

And now I'm wanting to pump up my music collection, with some old stuff. Red House Painters and Beth Orton kind of stuff. I heard a song by Radiohead yesterday that I hadn't heard in 10 years and I want to hear it again.

In trying to recover..

2010-10-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

I've learned a couple things:

Boiled chicken is awesome. There is just something about it, maybe I'm low on protein, but I am so happy that I invested $7 in 2 whole birds and that my parents gifted me a large stock pot in which to boil said birds. My meat intake is limited - no heavy, breaded, fatty, spicey, nothings! so I'm glad to be able to enjoy.
This is one of the few times in my life where I can let the house go and not be blamed for it. Sick people don't have to do dishes on a daily basis. Not to mention other things that while they do make me feel more human and better in a way, I now have a great excuse to not do them - not shaving my legs, wearing a pony tail for more than 2 days in a row *faux pas!* and becoming more familiar with the feeling of the couch and my buttox meeting while enjoying an all day Alfred Hitchcock film festival.
I really am blessed with the parents that I have. No matter what my siblings think, and I am aware of how spoiled I am, even at 28 years old. I am so blessed, and even more so appreciative of their help through this time in my life. Not to mention all of my friends and my family. The cards, balloons, flowers, magazines, books, assistance around the house and home, coming over to mow my lawn for me, picking up my mail, dropping off juices, sneaking over milkshakes, making sure I have everything I need. I could very well bring myself to tears just thinking about the caring people I have in my life right now. Thank you guys <3 And I'm pretty sure that's not the medications talking.
And last but not least, even if I feel fantastic, does not mean I can go out on a shopping excursion!

My latest Dr. appointment left me with yet another prescription and a small shopping list of items to help relieve what I believe to be steroid related side-effects. One of which is itchy palms, and currently the most annoying, although small annoyance it is. I'm hoping in a couple weeks to say "Ah! Relief! And all I had to deal with was indigestion, mushrooms, and itchy palms!" Apparently having itchy palms is a sign of money coming my way.
The old wives tale is told "Left to leave. Right to recieve. Scratch it on wood to make it come good." Which really makes sense, because with all the doctors bills coming in, I am and will be having money given and taken away from me on an almost daily basis for the next couple months, I'm sure!

Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches..

2010-10-01T20:12:00.000-07:00

That would be something I didn't incorporate into my shopping list today. Peach cobbler is something I'd like to make within the week, as I've got a fish fry dinner date with Samaree! soon, and my desire is to bring the cobbler. But that's in the near future, and making homemade mayonnaise is in the nearer future.

Hoping to be able to do it tomorrow, and I'll be following Julia Child's recipe. Also hoping looks aren't deceiving, because it "looks" like a very simple and manageable recipe. I ran into a problem this evening trying to complete my grocery shopping. There are items which my system cannot digest fully now, there are items which irritate my system, and then there are items that have been proven to cure my colon.
Tonight, I found that shopping for the simplest items, like bread for instance, isn't so simple anymore. Anything high fiber, I must stay away from, so going towards the whiter breads would seem safe, yes? Well, then I was raised that white bread was incredibly bad for you. Even though one of my favorite lunches at my Mawmaw's house was colby cheese on white bread with Hellman's mayo. There are just so many extra ingredients that I'm afraid to eat now, so I grab a loaf of Italian and a random bag of non-seedy dinner rolls. Later, mentally adding a bread maker along with a crock pot to my kitchen small appliances wish list.
And now I'm craving a cheese sammich.

I also harvested some mint from my back yard to overmintify my mug of mint tea, which feels smexcellent on my frequently upset stomach. I should go out tomorrow and pick some more for the freezer. Not to mention really get to wash my hair and do my nails. Hospital stays really chip away at your girly-ness.

2010-09-30T16:05:00.000-07:00

I am loving ItzFitz's handmade yarn wreaths,
making plans for an -almost- consumerism free Christmas,

The 2 Volume set Mastering the Art of French Cooking

and these incredibly overpriced measuring spoons.

2010-09-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

Another day of sitting around waiting. Despite the small food baby in my belly and the fatigue, I'm feeling quite a bit better. I told a friend last night (one who so nicely dropped by for a visit and gifted me a 2011 World of Warcraft trivia desk calendar) that my biggest worry right now is that the medicine fails to work any further and there is no sign of remission in the future, near or far. If that happens, I will have to have the surgery, twhich if I'm put into the situation where I know theres no other option, I'm ok with it, but theres the more time off work that I'll be missing, which creates an even bigger problem.

*breathe...* One step at a time...

Now I can spend this remaining free time day dreaming about finishing my kitchen, getting my online business back to running again, and the upcoming Holidays! I think maybe I will even change the red berry wreath that's been in my front door for almost a year now.

2010-09-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

I'm laying here in bed, which is something that I've been doing all day, all week, all month it feels like. My goal tonight is to chill out until they take my last vitals for the evening and then drift to sleep with the help of Ambien.
I'm not a huge fan of the pill, this will be my third night taking it. First night I had a whole 5mg pill, second night - cut in half to make a 2.5 mg and tonight I think I'll go back to the 5mg. I just kept waking up too often last night and the woozy effects the day after remained the same, no matter what dosage amount.

Great news though, Dr. P did in fact show up today! I am willing to bet that he really isnt happy with how I'm coming along and wishes my bleeding would stop, well I agree with him, I wish it would stop completely. Forever. But there is only one 100% sure way of that, and that would be surgery, something that I'm not 100% sure I'm ready for. I want to exhaust all avenues of putting this disease into remission and being able to live my life. I'm really worried about what the future is going to bring, whether its more flareups, more hospital visits, not being able to travel, etc. But I really have to learn to put my faith in God and take one step at a time.
My first step: Dr. P decided to forgo the 5 days left of my wait time and go ahead with an early Remicade infusion, my second. Then put me on a "Soft" diet. I imagined mounds of mashed potatoes and applesauce - still a nummy change from the chicken broth and countless bowls of sugary jello. And is going to send me home most likely on Friday!

Right as soon as he left my room, my mom went down to the cafe and brought up some toast for me, (pizza for her and dad too, but I tried not to pay too much attention to that. Must remember, cheese = worse for me now than normal.)
I felt like I was breaking some rule, toasted white bread really wasn't considered part of the "Soft diet" was it? And not to mention, how well was it going to play with my damaged colon? I have a feeling I'm going to be googling a lot of foods for a while, to see how well other people have reacted. And I still find it funny that a cup of broth and 2 slices of toast can fill me up.

Then came dinner! I was overjoyed to hear the little knock on the door and the announcement of "Nutrition!", watch them bring in this tray with an unknown meal - they keep the main course covered with those weird heavy plastic domes. But I could smell the vegetable soup, and it pleased me. Unfortunately, I did not finish my green beans, as they were just steamed and too rough for me to digest, the soup was very salty, but I drank all of the broth, and after making sure the tomatoes were sans seeds, ate a few of them. Also the mug in the right hand corner, it's coffee. I kind of laughed at the thought of me drinking coffee again. Everything else was really good, my critic was probably biased, since it has been 12 days since I've had a meal that required cutting, and chewing. They left me a little menu to plan out my meals for tomorrow. I opted for cottage cheese, more bland soups (chick. noodle & mushroom soups), herbal tea, pudding, turkey sammiches and something I'm probably going to regret - baked salmon. My choices were: Cheeseburger, Lasagna, Baked Salmon. Of course to me, the fish is the least dangerous. We'll find out tomorrow ;)

Is this the last night of my hospital stay? Who knows!

2010-09-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

The doctor that was going to talk to about that subject never showed up today, so it's another night in the hospital for me.
Yesterday, one of the nurses aquired a prescription, through one of my doctors, for Ambien, to help me achieve a much deeper sleep. Any slight noise or twinge in my stomach wakes me up these days and I'm only catching little catnaps throughout the evening on into the day. Tonight, I'm taking a 5mg Ambien cut in half.

In hopes that I would be sent home either tonight or tomorrow night, my mom smuggled me some mashed potatoes from the eatery downstairs. I was smart enough to not eat them straight, nor eat all of them. I took two scoops and mixed them into my chicken broth, making a sort of potatoey chickeny soup, which was very delicious (after 3 days of nothing but straight broth, heck yeah it was delicious!). There haven't had any repercussions from eating it...so far, so good.
I've also stopped eating my Italian Ice and most of my jello that they're giving me for each meal, which makes Breakfast incredibly bare because thats all they give me for breakfast: Jello, Italian Ice, and tea.

I am still bummed about all of those lost entries, I'm not sure if I have it in me to re-write them, which makes it even worse because I had written down coming to the hospital and discovering that I had Ulcerative Colitis.

Well, this can't be good.

2010-09-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

Today we learned that all of the posts on the "Edit Posts" page are live, and not old saved shells of past entries
i.e. - I deleted all of my past entries and am now stuck at page 1, which -really- sucks because of all of the writing I've done in the past few days here at the hospital.